The Invisible Side of Living with Allergies

While the symptoms and intensity of allergies may vary from person to person, they tend to be similar and overlap. Congestion, itchy and watery eyes, the exacerbation of asthma or eczema, and even anaphylaxis are experiences that most (if not all) of us with allergies have encountered at various points in our lives. Most of physical symptoms are well-known, but something that doesn’t get as much attention is the mental and emotional tolld of living with allergies (or any chronic health condition).

The social friction of allergy misunderstandings

No matter how much you try to explain your condition, misunderstandings still feel inevitable. If I turn down an experience because I know my allergies will be triggered, I still hear comments like, “Are you sure?” or “Is it really that bad?” On the flip side, sometimes I am not invited to an event at all because people assume I cannot attend, without letting me make that decision for myself. In both cases, it is hurtful. It seems like no matter how well you convey your experiences, people often make their own assumptions.

The weight of feeling like burden

Another emotional consequence of dealing with chronic health conditions is feeling like a burden to the people close to me. I am not entirely dependent on family and friends, but the feeling of being a burden weighs on me whenever I do need help. In the back of my mind, I know there is nothing shameful about needing support—we all inevitably need help at some point—but I still have trouble asking for and accepting it.

Breaking the comparison trap with allergies

In this day and age, especially with the prevalence of social media, most of us are susceptible to the “comparison trap.” This is especially true for those of us with chronic health conditions. Seeing people traveling, going to cool places, or becoming physically fit can make me feel like I’m not doing enough—or that I, myself, am not enough. I sometimes wonder how much more I could accomplish if it wasn’t for my allergies or eczema. When I get caught up in this train of thought, I have to remind myself that people only post their highlights; we don’t know what is going on behind the scenes of anyone's life. While it may seem like I’m “behind,” I need to remind myself that life is not a race.

Navigating mental health and mindfulness

These are realities I have to be conscious of to keep my mental health on track. While there is nothing wrong with how I feel, I don't want those feelings to control me. I tend to get bogged down in negativity; ideally, I’d like to let the feelings sit with me and then pass through without judgment. Instead, a negative thought will often pop up, and I’ll ruminate on it until it snowballs into a much bigger problem. With chronic conditions, it’s easy to get lost in worries. Being a little more mindful can go a long way in how we feel about ourselves in relation to our struggles.