Three Things I Wish People Understood About My Allergies

Misunderstandings can be hard to deal with when most people around you have no frame of reference for what you're going through. They can be around you as it’s happening and help support you through it, but they’ll never actually experience what it is you’re experiencing.

Because of that, it can be hard to convey certain things to them accurately. Here are a few things I wish people understood about living with allergies.

Yes, I can live without peanut butter

I feel like most of us with allergies have heard this phrase before. “How do you live without peanut butter?” “It must be so sad to not be able to have pets.” Along with a million other variations of this sentiment.

I’m actually great without peanut butter because I’m not a fan of going into anaphylactic shock, thank you very much!

Dogs are cute, but what would be sadder than not having pets is me feeling like a prisoner in my own house because no amount of medication could relieve my allergy symptoms. People think lots of things are “essential” to live a happy and fulfilled life, but that varies widely for everyone and can change over the course of one’s life.

Sure, living with allergies comes with adjustments and a little extra caution, but to say that my life is less full because I can't have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or adopt a dog simply isn’t true.

Managing allergies is never personal

When I decline something someone has cooked or baked, say no to hanging out because I know my allergies will be triggered, or decline a situation or gift I have to say no to, it is never personal.

My intention is never to be rude, diminish your efforts, or purposefully avoid hanging out with you. There are just certain situations that I have to excuse myself from for my health.

There are plenty of times where I ignored my better judgment and went ahead and tried something not knowing fully what the ingredients were, or went or spent the day doing outdoor activities when pollen levels were high. All of those times I paid the price with my health. Aside from the occasional accident, that’s just not something that I’m willing to do anymore.

On the flip side, I don’t take it personally when there isn’t a food option safe from allergens, or when someone wants to do something or go somewhere I can’t because of allergens. It’s nice when people consider my needs, but I don't expect it from them, and not having those expectations means that instead of being disappointed when they don’t, it’s a pleasant surprise when they do!

Panicking during an allergic reaction doesn't help

I know that, from an outsider looking in, it can seem scary when I eat something I’m not supposed to and am having an allergic reaction.

For some people, it can be fatal. While I’ve always been okay after severe allergic reactions, I know that I’m not 100% safe from a fatal reaction.

With that being said, I know what to do when it happens. Panicking around me while it’s happening doesn’t help me.

If anything, it can make things worse because then I have to take other people’s well-being into account. In that moment, I’d ideally just like to focus on myself and do what I have to do to get through the reaction and feel better.

I know that asking people not to panic rarely works, especially if they are prone to anxiety.

Communicating what it's really like to live with allergies

I’m not always the best communicator. It’s something that I’ve been trying to work on, but it’s tough when you are used to just keeping your thoughts in your head.

I hope that by getting these thoughts out of my head, maybe I’ll have an easier time trying to relay this information to someone else the next time they are freaking out because I ate something I wasn’t supposed to or when I have to reject an invite somewhere because I know I would end up feeling miserable from my symptoms.

Either way, it’s a step in the right direction.